Sunday, March 27, 2011

10 reasons why true friendships never exist

Needless to say that such a "cynical" title might put off a large number of readers . Hence I have taken the unusual approach of starting this post with a disclaimer, which otherwise should have come at the bottom.

Disclaimer: This post is taken from a cauldron of experiences of different people and their stories over a lifetime. What is said is a partial reflection of the miserable, warring, selfish , consumerist world that we live in , a world where values are degenerative but never fully lost. Therefore this post must only be taken as a guideline to avoid pitfalls while strengthening the friendships so that one does not find oneself badly hurt. Readers who are also friends must not take the sayings personally and derive meaning where it is not due.

  1. A friend in need is a friend in deed only when his deed is acknowledged by you. Often the deed is about the superior values of a do-gooder and not necessarily about the plight of the beneficiary.
  2. When someone arrives in your time of misery posing as a friend; beware that could be part of a plot to bust you . The helping hand of such friends often conceal a dagger.
  3. Get-together of long-lost professional friends , such as in college alumni , is mostly a  reality check of who has moved up in life and who has fallen behind & whether that tallies with the perceptions of the younger days. It has nothing to do with renewal of old ties.
  4. A selfless help towards a friend will often be "rewarded" in future with spite and ignorance.
  5. When friends say,  "call me whenever you need anything" , they say that because they really do not know how to react to your present plight and basically mean that "I forgot to tell you that you can call me only when I am not busy but please remember that I offered you help."
  6. Friendship is sustained only through gainful reciprocity and is never unconditional. Multi-million dollar scams always involve work among close friends in power ,sharing the war chest.A friend will not return a call if he doesn't see any gainful value in sharing his time with you.
  7. Sacrifice is a word enshrined in Elton John's song but rarely found in the lexicon of friendship. While you may be considered a fool to sacrifice for your friend, a friend will often find excuses not to do the same for you when you need it badly.
  8. When it comes to friendship between opposite sexes, inevitably complications arise with the other close family members of the friend.
  9.  When a stranger wants to become your friend; it's not because he shares the same value as yours or not because he wants to be  beside you in your times of trouble but because he sees a future value for himself in associating with you without paying for it. 
  10. Lastly friendship is good from far. Hence  a detached association  lasts longer rather than a intimate relationship. The latter can often leave you bruised and hurt for life.

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